. . . and scene!

I know that many moms and daughters feel like they are very close.  Some would go so far as to say they are best friends as well.  In my case, these sentiments overwhelmingly apply.  My only daughter, Sarah, and I have a unique and special relationship.  For example, whenever we are together, we often complete each other’s sentences.  We’ve even laughed together as we say the exact same response at the exact same moment to someone with whom we are both having a conversation.  Let me tell you, sometimes it is pretty eerie.

In sharing my story of having to tell her goodbye, I need to give you a little background information on my professional past.  I have worked in higher education for nearly 20 years.  I have served at four different colleges/universities in the Admissions Office, Financial Aid Office and Student Life Departments.  I know what this “going to college” process looks like from every single angle possible.  You would think I would be more prepared in saying goodbye . . . especially since my oldest son had gone off to college five years prior.

Sarah was a College Admission Officer’s dream come true; throughout high school she worked hard to get good grades, she was quite active in school activities, she played three sports and won a few awards.  She also served as the student representative on the PTO committee as well as led in student council - twice, all while volunteering to help with Special Olympics and mission trips with our church.  She spent most of her time, however, with her theatre friends in one play or musical year round.  She was well spoken and communicated effectively in her writings.

Her junior year, she and I sat down at the computer and pulled up the College Board website and searched through the nationwide database for any schools that excelled in theatre and had a D1 or D2 volleyball and/or softball team.  We started with about 1,500 colleges and universities and started reviewing each school’s distinctives.   Within the first six months, we had narrowed the search to 30 colleges/universities.  By the end of her junior year, she had eliminated all but 10.  We decided then that we would visit 4 of the final 10.  It was really a lot of fun looking for a college with Sarah since, she, like me was very organized and loved being thorough.  You would have been amazed at our comprehensive excel spreadsheet.

After the visits to several colleges, Sarah decided on Catawba College in Salisbury, North Carolina.  In the fall semester of her senior year, as we were walking from building to building on the campus tour, she leaned over to me and said, “Remember, mom, when I said I wasn’t feeling it at the last school?”  I cautiously replied, “Yes.”  She smiled and looked me straight in the eyes and declared, “Well I’m ‘feeling it’ here!”  I knew then, that she would be going to this college that was eight hours from our home. 

The rest of her senior year flew by.  She was so busy and having a great time.  She even got to play Dorothy in the musical, “The Wizard of Oz” in her final high school semester.  She truly had a remarkable four years in high school.

The summer passed by quickly as well.  There was so much to do to get ready for her departure to North Carolina.  We bought sheets, hangers, towels, clothes, toiletries, posters, a desk calendar, rugs, lamps, shoes, notebook paper, pencils, and the list goes on and on. 

When August finally arrived, Sarah and I set out in my maroon Honda Odyssey mini-van for the eight hour trek East down Interstate 40.  My van was packed to the brim.  I was not convinced when we started packing that it would all fit, but somehow we were successful. 

The trip was uneventful.  We made good time and arrived just as the sun was setting.  We got a hotel and grabbed dinner before calling it a night.

The next morning we woke bright and early in order to get a jump on the move-in day, unpacking adventure that was ahead of us.  We had few problems and she was all moved in within four hours or so.  She met her new roommate, got settled in her room, and then packed a small bag for the weekend.

One of the unique things about attending Catawba is that they hold a special freshman retreat before classes start so students can get to know one another and make some friends.   Before they left on this retreat, all the freshmen students and their parents met for lunch.  As soon as we were done eating, they started herding us toward the back of campus to the parking lot. 

There were probably 40-50 cars parked in the lot.  My van was parked in the closest spot next to Sarah’s dorm in the corner spot.  Right smack dab in the middle of the parking lot, were three white buses that bore the logo for “CATAWBA COLLEGE.”  It was pretty surreal for me that Sarah was getting ready to board one of those giant vehicles and ride away.

The student’s names were called and each was assigned to a specific bus.  When Sarah’s name was called, she gave me a hug, told me she loved me, and walked toward her bus.  It was not an emotional goodbye.  It was one that was filled with so much excitement and anticipation for her.  I was bursting with pride as she made her way up the stairs and down the aisle to find a seat with 50 new friends that she would make over the next few days and weeks.

All the students were loaded up, the counselors and professors aboard, and the bus drivers were ready.  They started their engines.  It was beginning to feel overwhelmingly real.  My best friend was leaving.  I would not see her again until Christmas.  I was starting to fill with strong emotion.

One bus began to pull away.  The second followed behind.  I, then, noticed that the bus Sarah was on was not idling.  Apparently, they were having engine trouble.  By this time, every car in the parking lot had left and I stood alone.  I was the single parent still waiting as they worked to repair the remaining bus. 

It took only a few minutes and then the bus driver re-boarded.  I looked again in the windows to find Sarah.  I was glad she was sitting on my side of the bus so I could see her and watch as she departed for this new life journey.

It began to sprinkle.  I quickly got my umbrella out of the van to shield myself from the rain.  It started raining hard.  I couldn’t help but think what a drag it was that I would have to drive back eight hours by myself in a rain storm.  And then I thought of the college freshmen.  I hoped that it would stop raining before they arrived at the retreat.  A rainy weekend would be no fun.

And then the bus began to inch forward.  There, I stood alone in parking lot, soaking wet, with an umbrella above my head, while tears poured down my face, waving goodbye to my best girl.  I could see her waving back at me with a huge smile across her face.  She was excited to be starting the journey of a life time and she was anxious to go.

I began to quietly laugh to myself.  Look at me:  I found myself standing in the absolute perfect farewell scene any movie could have portrayed between a mom and a daughter.  As the bus pulled out of the parking lot, I was literally the only poor soul left. 

Within a minute of getting in my van, I got a text message from Sarah.  She started with “LOL.”  She said mom, “That was the most pitiful goodbye scene that I have ever seen.”  I laughed and text back, “I know.  I couldn’t have planned it any better!”  I continued, “I love you babe.”  Then she replied, “I love you more.”  And my girl was off on another one of her crazy adventures. 

(c) 2014 Diane LeJeune and Feeling Good Entertainment, LLC.  "Tribal Tales"