Pomp and Circumstance

There are few events in life more exciting, life changing, and emotional than a high school graduation ceremony. 

When my oldest son, Beau, graduated from Fairview High School in 2003, we had extended family from California, Louisiana, and Idaho that made the trip to Tennessee for commencement.

There were a total of 15 people who needed a place to stay, and our little 800+ square foot, one bath house could not possibly hold us all.  So, we rented a campground facility along the Harpeth River in Williamson County.  The main lodge for the camp easily accommodated everyone – each family had their own private room.  The massive kitchen was a blast to cook in, and all of the ladies pitched in to help with each meal.  It truly was a great time of catching up with family members that we had not seen for a few years. 

The big night arrived, and Beau graduated, with honors I might add, and we were quite proud of him as he received his diploma.  I treasure the pictures that we took that night.  My favorite will always be this one with Beau and the four other senior varsity baseball players.  I will never forget the memory of that night.

Five years later, Beau’s little sister, Sarah, graduated from the same high school and again we had family in from out of town.  We had such a blast reconnecting and finding out what was going on in each other’s lives. 

Sarah’s graduation ceremony had been moved from the football field at the high school to the local Agricultural Exposition Center (rodeo arena) and since it was inside, it had a totally different feel.  Sarah had just been in the high school’s spring musical, Wizard of Oz, a few weeks before.  She played Dorothy and did an outstanding job.  Some people said it was the very best production at Fairview High ever; and who am I to disagree?  And guess what!  She kept the shoes!  So to make it easier to spot her amidst all the other black caps and gowns, she wore her ruby slippers.  We could spot her a mile away.  We were so proud of her.  Sarah, too, graduated with honors and another night was spent celebrating an incredibly important milestone in our little family’s life.

Another five years later, Sarah’s little brother, Jesse, graduated from the exact same high school in the same rodeo arena as his sister. He, too, graduated with honors and, once again, family from California, Louisiana, and Idaho made the immense effort to be in attendance.  We were very proud of him as well. 

There are two memories that I have from that special night that stand out to me.  First, I was truly surprised to see how very close this group of seniors was.  After the ceremony, we spent a great deal of time taking pictures.  It was so fun to see how many great friends Jesse had made in his four years at Fairview High.  In fact, I wrote an entire blog about this specific group of kids last year!

From L-R:  Trey Sommerfeld, Jesse LeJeune, Jack Ramey, Mitch Weimer

The second thing that stands out in my mind from that night last May, is Jesse’s graduation dinner.  There were a dozen or so family members around the table at the Chili’s restaurant in Franklin.  We had a wonderful time chatting, exchanging stories and eating way too much!  Just before Jesse had to leave, we had him open his graduation gifts.  He got the standard gifts:  new sheets for the bed in his dorm room, new towels, and laundry soap as a few examples.  He received a number of cards containing checks or cash – which is always good. 

However, something very peculiar was happening.  In the midst of the gift opening, Jesse looked puzzled and confused.  He kept smiling and gratefully thanking each person for their gift.  At last, when he had finished opening gifts, he looked around the table and sincerely thanked all his grandparents, aunts, and uncles for coming and sharing in this rite of passage. 

We were all smiles, because we knew he had one more gift left to open.  Sarah pulled out from beneath her chair a rectangular box that was probably 4 inches thick.  Jesse looked at me with a quizzical expression.  He seemed to be asking for permission to open it.  I nodded a quiet yes.  He opened up a brand new Dell laptop computer.  He was absolutely shocked.  Now I was the one who was confused.  He seriously looked at me like:  Is this really for me?   The moment was surreal.  I honestly thought that he would have been expecting a laptop; seems like that is the standard graduating gift for kids going off to college.  Right?  But he genuinely looked stunned.  I truthfully have never seen anyone as grateful, surprised and happy as Jesse was.  I was overwhelmed with emotion.

Jesse asked if we could take the gifts in our van, since he had to go to graduation rehearsal before the ceremony and we, of course, agreed.   Jesse asked me to walk him out to his car.  I was glad he did.  I immediately asked him what was wrong.  He turned me and said, “I just didn’t know that I was going to receive any presents tonight.”  I chuckled and replied, “Well, are your friends receiving congratulatory cards with money and checks in them?”  He smiled and answered a bit sarcastically, “Well yeah.”  I asked, “Didn’t you expect that you might as well?  After all, we did send 24 graduation announcements to family members.”  He laughed and said, “I guess you’re right.”  He continued, “But I never expected that you and dad would get me a laptop.”  His face has such an innocent expression at the revelation of how generous his family was to him on the occasion of graduation.  His humble reaction of gratitude was incredibly sweet.  He just honestly couldn’t believe at all that he had been given.  It was such a precious moment for me.

I know that we will have many more extraordinary occasions with weddings and grandbabies and other memorable events.  But so far those three nights in our little family’s history are quite remarkable.

(c) 2014 Diane C. LeJeune and Feeling Good Entertainment, LLC (c) 2014 Tribal Tales

. . . and scene!

I know that many moms and daughters feel like they are very close.  Some would go so far as to say they are best friends as well.  In my case, these sentiments overwhelmingly apply.  My only daughter, Sarah, and I have a unique and special relationship.  For example, whenever we are together, we often complete each other’s sentences.  We’ve even laughed together as we say the exact same response at the exact same moment to someone with whom we are both having a conversation.  Let me tell you, sometimes it is pretty eerie.

In sharing my story of having to tell her goodbye, I need to give you a little background information on my professional past.  I have worked in higher education for nearly 20 years.  I have served at four different colleges/universities in the Admissions Office, Financial Aid Office and Student Life Departments.  I know what this “going to college” process looks like from every single angle possible.  You would think I would be more prepared in saying goodbye . . . especially since my oldest son had gone off to college five years prior.

Sarah was a College Admission Officer’s dream come true; throughout high school she worked hard to get good grades, she was quite active in school activities, she played three sports and won a few awards.  She also served as the student representative on the PTO committee as well as led in student council - twice, all while volunteering to help with Special Olympics and mission trips with our church.  She spent most of her time, however, with her theatre friends in one play or musical year round.  She was well spoken and communicated effectively in her writings.

Her junior year, she and I sat down at the computer and pulled up the College Board website and searched through the nationwide database for any schools that excelled in theatre and had a D1 or D2 volleyball and/or softball team.  We started with about 1,500 colleges and universities and started reviewing each school’s distinctives.   Within the first six months, we had narrowed the search to 30 colleges/universities.  By the end of her junior year, she had eliminated all but 10.  We decided then that we would visit 4 of the final 10.  It was really a lot of fun looking for a college with Sarah since, she, like me was very organized and loved being thorough.  You would have been amazed at our comprehensive excel spreadsheet.

After the visits to several colleges, Sarah decided on Catawba College in Salisbury, North Carolina.  In the fall semester of her senior year, as we were walking from building to building on the campus tour, she leaned over to me and said, “Remember, mom, when I said I wasn’t feeling it at the last school?”  I cautiously replied, “Yes.”  She smiled and looked me straight in the eyes and declared, “Well I’m ‘feeling it’ here!”  I knew then, that she would be going to this college that was eight hours from our home. 

The rest of her senior year flew by.  She was so busy and having a great time.  She even got to play Dorothy in the musical, “The Wizard of Oz” in her final high school semester.  She truly had a remarkable four years in high school.

The summer passed by quickly as well.  There was so much to do to get ready for her departure to North Carolina.  We bought sheets, hangers, towels, clothes, toiletries, posters, a desk calendar, rugs, lamps, shoes, notebook paper, pencils, and the list goes on and on. 

When August finally arrived, Sarah and I set out in my maroon Honda Odyssey mini-van for the eight hour trek East down Interstate 40.  My van was packed to the brim.  I was not convinced when we started packing that it would all fit, but somehow we were successful. 

The trip was uneventful.  We made good time and arrived just as the sun was setting.  We got a hotel and grabbed dinner before calling it a night.

The next morning we woke bright and early in order to get a jump on the move-in day, unpacking adventure that was ahead of us.  We had few problems and she was all moved in within four hours or so.  She met her new roommate, got settled in her room, and then packed a small bag for the weekend.

One of the unique things about attending Catawba is that they hold a special freshman retreat before classes start so students can get to know one another and make some friends.   Before they left on this retreat, all the freshmen students and their parents met for lunch.  As soon as we were done eating, they started herding us toward the back of campus to the parking lot. 

There were probably 40-50 cars parked in the lot.  My van was parked in the closest spot next to Sarah’s dorm in the corner spot.  Right smack dab in the middle of the parking lot, were three white buses that bore the logo for “CATAWBA COLLEGE.”  It was pretty surreal for me that Sarah was getting ready to board one of those giant vehicles and ride away.

The student’s names were called and each was assigned to a specific bus.  When Sarah’s name was called, she gave me a hug, told me she loved me, and walked toward her bus.  It was not an emotional goodbye.  It was one that was filled with so much excitement and anticipation for her.  I was bursting with pride as she made her way up the stairs and down the aisle to find a seat with 50 new friends that she would make over the next few days and weeks.

All the students were loaded up, the counselors and professors aboard, and the bus drivers were ready.  They started their engines.  It was beginning to feel overwhelmingly real.  My best friend was leaving.  I would not see her again until Christmas.  I was starting to fill with strong emotion.

One bus began to pull away.  The second followed behind.  I, then, noticed that the bus Sarah was on was not idling.  Apparently, they were having engine trouble.  By this time, every car in the parking lot had left and I stood alone.  I was the single parent still waiting as they worked to repair the remaining bus. 

It took only a few minutes and then the bus driver re-boarded.  I looked again in the windows to find Sarah.  I was glad she was sitting on my side of the bus so I could see her and watch as she departed for this new life journey.

It began to sprinkle.  I quickly got my umbrella out of the van to shield myself from the rain.  It started raining hard.  I couldn’t help but think what a drag it was that I would have to drive back eight hours by myself in a rain storm.  And then I thought of the college freshmen.  I hoped that it would stop raining before they arrived at the retreat.  A rainy weekend would be no fun.

And then the bus began to inch forward.  There, I stood alone in parking lot, soaking wet, with an umbrella above my head, while tears poured down my face, waving goodbye to my best girl.  I could see her waving back at me with a huge smile across her face.  She was excited to be starting the journey of a life time and she was anxious to go.

I began to quietly laugh to myself.  Look at me:  I found myself standing in the absolute perfect farewell scene any movie could have portrayed between a mom and a daughter.  As the bus pulled out of the parking lot, I was literally the only poor soul left. 

Within a minute of getting in my van, I got a text message from Sarah.  She started with “LOL.”  She said mom, “That was the most pitiful goodbye scene that I have ever seen.”  I laughed and text back, “I know.  I couldn’t have planned it any better!”  I continued, “I love you babe.”  Then she replied, “I love you more.”  And my girl was off on another one of her crazy adventures. 

(c) 2014 Diane LeJeune and Feeling Good Entertainment, LLC.  "Tribal Tales"

Kidnapped in the Dormitory

In the early years of our marriage, my husband, Billy and I lived in a college dormitory.  The first 5 years of our oldest son, Beau’s life were spent in a “point” room in the men’s dorm at the college where my husband was an undergrad student.

When Billy graduated, we moved out and rented a “real” place to live . . . a condo.  It was nice to set up house and have quite a bit more privacy than when we lived in the dorm with hundreds of college guys.

However, since I still worked for the college, I made the trek each day back to campus.  It really was a great decade in our lives.  We loved working with college students and my job was to help high school kids get into college.  What’s not to like?  It was a rewarding career.

One of the perks of working at this specific college was that they had a child care facility in one of the wings of the men’s dorm.  We literally walked 100 steps to take our son Beau to childcare each morning.  He loved it there.  Many of the employees were college students who were Early Childhood Education majors.  Nearly every day we would have to coax Beau to come home with us since he truly did not want to leave the pre-school.

While living at the condo, we had a second child . . . a girl, Sarah.  We lived in the condo for a few years and then moved to a much bigger home for another couple of years.

At this point, the Head Residence job at came open back at our college.  We applied and got the job as dorm parents.  However, this time we were going to be living in the women’s dorm.  This was another exciting adventure in our little family’s life.

Beau was in first grade, so he went to the local public elementary school.  And as you can guess, Sarah started in the 2 year old class at the pre-school on campus.  This was such a great set up for our family.  I literally walked down the block from our dorm room to drop her off at pre-school and across the street to my office for the work day.

Since I was quite involved on campus and I had a child in the school for many years, I served on the Board of Directors for the pre-school by the time my daughter started attending.  Our primary function was to do fundraising.  I believe we did a fine job since we were able to fund many new endeavors – like a new playground – for the children.

As you can imagine, being a parent, on the board, across the street, and living in the dorms, I was very well acquainted with the staff, especially the director.  We had a very positive relationship.

Now, I need to tell you that my husband and I were also very involved with our church.  We were youth group leaders for the high school students.  We loved being in their lives.  We had three young men with whom we were especially close.  John, J.J. and Andy are their names.  We had them over for dinner.  They were in the Bible Study that met at our home.  They rode with me to Mexico for our Amor week during Spring Break.  The boys were nearly part of our family.  And Beau and Sarah loved all the attention that they got from the high schoolers.

So, one afternoon I was in my office when my phone rang.  I recognized that the number was internal and it was from the pre-school.  Hoping that nothing was wrong with Sarah, I answered it.  The Director was calling; she sounded quite upset.

She began by saying, in a semi-condescending tone, that it is never the policy of the pre-school to release children to adults who are not on the approved “pick-up” list.  She emphatically stated that she does not appreciate that I have sent someone to check Sarah out for the day that is not on the list.  She continued, that she understands that since I am so involved with the pre-school that I am a bit more informal with the staff, but that for the safety of the children, she would appreciate at least a call in the future if someone is going to pick up Sarah and they are not on the list.

There was a long silence.  I was in total shock.  I had no idea what she was talking about.  I finally said to the Director, “Who picked up Sarah?”  With my volume of my voice rising, I exclaim, “I do not know what you’re talking about!”  My heart is racing.  The panic is rising in my body and is about to explode.  I can barely process what she has said.  My mind is awhirl and I feel dizzy.  Someone had taken my daughter.  I feared the worst – that she had been kidnapped.

She quickly back peddled and explained that a young man picked up Sarah about 30 minutes before.  He communicated to the staff that he was a close friend of the family.  The Director said that Sarah seemed very at ease with him and even gave him a hug when he arrived. Thinking that it might be a college guy who lives in the dorm, I asked if she knew the young man.  The Director communicated that she had never seen him before.  At this point, I urgently replied that I had not sent anyone one to pick up Sarah and told her that I was on my way over.  I could hear the alarm in her voice as we concluded the call.

I got up from my desk and hurriedly moved toward the front door to the Admissions Office.  As soon as I was outside, I ran.  I am confident that I have never run as fast as I did that day.  I was across the parking lot in less than a minute.  I arrived in the Director’s office, completely out of breath.  You could tell she was waiting for me.  She had a look of total fear on her face.  She had been joined by two of the teachers who wanted to help.  I thought for a second that perhaps we should call the police.  However, I wanted to get more information first.

The Director retold me exactly what she said on the phone.   A man had picked up Sarah and left with her 30 minutes prior.  No one had ever seen him before.  But that Sarah seemed completely comfortable with him.  I had no idea who could have taken her.  I did not have a clue where to start to look for her.  I called my husband and asked him to come home from work immediately.

I took a deep breath.  I decided that the first thing I needed to do was go over to the women’s dorm just to make sure that she was not at our apartment.  I told the pre-school teachers that I would be right back.  I rushed down the block to our dorm room.  As I slid the key into the door knob, I could hear that the television was on.  This was unusual.  I held my breath as I hurriedly entered the living room.

Sitting on the floor, three feet from the TV was my little three year old Sarah watching “Barney.”  She turned her head to the right and without moving from her seat, she casually said, “Hi mommy!”  And then she turned right back to her TV show.

It is impossible for me to describe the relief that flooded my whole person to see that she was alive and safely in our home. But I had to find out how she had gotten from the pre-school to our dorm room.  I cautiously moved forward through the doorway and could now see the couch.  Sitting there, as proud as a peacock, was Andy, one of the high school kids from church.

I took a deep breath and tried to remain calm as I questioned him.  “Andy, what are you doing here?  And why do you have Sarah?”  He smiled and confidently said, “I thought I would come over after school and surprise you guys!”  I exhaled and breathed in a sigh of relief.  About this time, Billy walked through the door.  He joined me as we sat down with Andy and explained to him how this was truly not a good surprise.  We talked about safety and how the staff at the pre-school was very worried.  We tried not to be hard on him, but I think he got the message.

I realized that the ladies at the pre-school did not know that we had resolved the situation.  So, I hurried back down the street to the school.  When I arrived, the teachers could tell that I was no longer in panic mode.  I explained about the high school student in our home Bible study group who thought he would surprise us that day.  I communicated that he was harmless and that the kids loved him.

Before I left however, I strongly communicated using the same words that the Directed had pointedly said to me, “It is critical, in the future, that you never let anyone who is not on the pre-approved pick-up list check out Sarah!”  I am confident that she had gotten the message that day too.

I calmly walked home.  Billy left to pick up Beau from school.  When they returned, Andy stayed that evening for dinner with our family.

(c)2014 Diane C. LeJeune, Feeling Good Entertainment,LLC  "Tribal Tales"