Community Relations

I am, admittedly, not a great reader. But when I find a book (or author) that I like, it’s difficult for me to put the book down. So, this week, I came across a book called, For One More Day by Mitch Albom. I was really moved (I cried and cried) by the mother/son theme. (Note: I have worked diligently this week to be a much more attentive mom to my boys as a result of this read.) I recommend this book especially if you’re a mom or a son or if you have one! It will be worth your time.

I’m ashamed to say that I wasn’t familiar with the author’s name but I had heard of a very famous book that he’d written prior to this one called Tuesdays With Morrie. So, of course, after I finished For One More Day, I went to the public library and got three other Mitch Albom books; Tuesdays With Morrie, The Five People You Meet In Heaven, and Have a Little Faith. I like the way the author writes and the themes he chooses to write about. I’ve only finished Tuesdays With Morrie but I promise before May 8th when my books are due back, I’ll have read the other two as well!

So, my thoughts today are from my reading of Tuesday With Morrie. I’ve actually been wrestling with this topic for a few months, but with fresh perspective, this story caused me to rethink this issue.

True story: Morrie Schwartz, a dying college professor, re-unites with one of his favorite students twenty years after he graduated. They had lost touch since college and are catching up now that Mitch finds out that Morrie is dying.

Morrie starts the conversation with the following questions:

“Have you found someone to share your heart with?
Are you giving to your community?
Are you at peace with yourself?
Are you trying to be as human as you can be?” (p. 34)

Ok, so these questions are deep and they take an entire book to answer them, but I wanted to focus on the second question specifically: “Are you giving to your community?” I am not; well at least not anymore. Are you?

I used to: I was in the church choir. I was a youth sponsor for our high school group. I helped out as a counselor at church camp. I sang on the Worship Team one weekend a month. I volunteered in the nursery at church. I was on the Executive Board of Directors for Beau’s baseball league and Sarah’s softball league. I was President of the High School Booster Club, and served on the PTO for the kid’s school. I volunteered for the Board of Director’s for Beau and Sarah’s pre-school. I worked at our community crisis pregnancy center. I helped each year for VBS. I managed a Little League baseball team. I taught second grade Sunday School. I even bowled on the church bowling league.

So, what happened? Does this sound familiar to you at all? Did I just get older? Or busier at work? Kids get older and busier? Is working two full-time jobs pushing me over the edge? I don’t think it’s just that. I believe that our society as a whole has become more egocentric and lazy, and the idea of being involved in community and other’s lives just isn’t as important or valuable as it once was.

In the book, Bowling Alone; The Collapse and Revival of American Community, Robert D. Putnam writes that there has been significant social change in America in the past decade or so. He chronicles how political groups, veterans organizations, church, social clubs, schools, sewing clubs, and even bowling leagues have seen a drastic drop off in membership. We don’t exercise our right to vote. People are just not involved in their communities and with their friends like they used to be. He refers to a Life magazine article that warns America about the overabundance of leisure time that they are wasting (on TV and online programs). This problem of having “too much time on our hands” has led us to take life easy. Giving back isn’t important to us anymore. (p. 16)

I’ve experienced this not only personally but professionally as well. When Sarah and I began working on this movie project, I never imagined the amount of help we would get from friends and family members to get as far as we have so far. But surprisingly to us, for the most part, the majority of friends we talk to, don’t care at all. They are so wrapped up in themselves (and sometimes their kids) that they don’t want to even hear about someone else’s life. It was a sad commentary on life that Sarah and I had to learn quickly as phone calls to friends go unreturned and emails never get answered. At first our feelings were very hurt, but quickly we just decided to not worry about it and move forward.

One blessing that has happened, however, is that Sarah and I are now more highly aware and really try to take time to listen well when people who make up our community share about their lives, passions and dreams.

So, how do we remedy the problem of a lack of concern, care or connectedness between families? Between friends? And between other members of our communities? To be honest, I’m not completely sure.

But here’s what I am going to do - my own sustained momentum: I am going to do my best to develop better relationships one person at a time. I’ve started going to a women’s Bible study at my church and volunteer to help in the nursery at church. I’m signing up to work VBS this summer. At least it’s a start. Since, I honestly believe that God created us to be in community with our fellow human beings and that we aren’t complete without these ties, I’m going to follow through and get involved again!

What about you? Are you giving to your community?

Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all people, especially to those who belong to the family of believers. Galatians 6:9-10

If you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any fellowship with the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and purpose. Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others. Philippians 2:1-4